Jayne Dawson: Stop your sobbing '“ there are reasons to love January

But hold that blah. Yes, you are curvacious; yes, it’s invigoratingly bracing - finally; and yes, you have been granted another wonderful year (see what I’m doing here).

In short, It’s January. There. I’ve said it. January, January, January.

Makes you shudder, doesn’t it? But here’s the thing. January is not the monster month you think it is. Here are reasons to be thankful it is joyful January... okay, I know, pushing it a bit now.

It’s not December

Obvs. But hold on, have a think. Did you really enjoy December? Did you? I’m betting there was more than one time when the thought “I hate this month” was stamped large on your stressed little face.

I mean, I wouldn’t be without Christmas, it’s magical specifically because it’s a time when everyone is bumped out of their usual routine and forced to engage with the world in a different way.

The sight of men queuing at perfume counters with that blank look of incomprehension on their faces makes it the best time of year. And that’s before you factor in the dispensation to eat fat and sugar and drink alcohol in all its delicious guises.

But hands up who ended the month feeling ill, exhausted and a bit poisoned. Yep, that’s all of us then.

It’s not February

Oh my, how I hate all that Valentine stuff. The sales are over, the shops are in a post-festive slump, and then along comes this selling opportunity, all clothed in hearts and flowers. Yuk.

Listen to me. Listen to me good. Valentine’s Day is a transparently cynical ploy to part you from your cash. Love is made up of little, everyday actions, it’s not a bunch of red roses, a card with a cute bear on it or a box of chocolates from Tesco Express.

Unless you are in the courtship stage of a relationship, when I am willing to concede that the weight of society’s expectation will be too much to resist, ignore this stupid day with its fake romance.

It’s clean

This is the currently acceptable way to describe things that are “good for you”. So you are not eating diet food, or rabbit food, or boring, unsatisfying food, you are “eating clean”. And, truth be told, there is something rather satisfying about this. Cabbage and carrots have an allure after too many days that began with Christmas cake. And cheese.